The Four Senses of Joe Jonas
by Speedygirl
Summary: When the boys were younger, Joe lost the hearing in his left ear in an accident. As the years go by they become the Jonas Brothers but when Joe has a hard day, he gets the chance to see what life would be like if he had never been born.
1. Chapter 1

The Four Senses of Joe Jonas

Summary: When the boys were younger, Joe lost the hearing in his left ear in an accident. As the years go by they become the Jonas Brothers but when Joe has a hard day, he gets the chance to see what life would be like if he had never been born.

Chapter one

Saving Nick

It was in the middle of December in New Jersey and nine year old Joe Jonas was up to his normal winter afternoon routine, sledding down old Barber hill near the pond with his two brothers and some friends. Joe was always the first one down the hill and his older brother Kevin who was eleven was always in the middle somewhere, this year, their younger brother Nick who had just turned six in September was joining them and their friends for the first time, he was sledding down on Kevin's sled in front of him.

Old Barber hill was just down the road from the Jonas house, it belonged to no one, it was just an old Mill, and a lake that had a giant hill that ran down to it. Every winter the boys had a ball sledding or sliding down it. The old mill had been there forever, standing to the side of the hill, it hadn't been used since 1918 but it still stood because of the lake beside it. The lake made a great swimming hole for the boys in the summer, so they didn't have to bother with the crowds at the pool. In the winter, they used it as an ice rink and something to slide on when they ran out of hill.

Joe stood at the top of the hill, they had been there for three hours but none of them were feeling the cold, they were having too much fun. Being the first to slide down as always when starting another round, Joe turned to his brothers and friends, "Drum roll please," he said as he straddled his sled.

"And now, Joseph Jonas will do a jump slide down Barber Hill, gentlemen can he do it?" Kevin said through his cupped gloved hands.

"Yes he can!" the others said together.

Joe laid down on his stomach on the old sled and put his hands underneath the handles and pulled the sled up until the blades were half way off the ground, then he kicked off with his legs causing the sled to go up into an ache before going down, it sped him up so that he stopped right in the middle of the lake instead of the side, it threw out ice chips as the sled blades went over the ice.

"Yes he has done it!" Joe yelled as he got up and ran to the side of the lake and yelled up at group at the top of the hill, "Okay who's next?"

"Alright, I'm coming down," their friend John yelled down to him.

"Alright, it's the amazing ride of John Miller," Their other friend Scott yelled as he gave his little brother a push.

John was only eight so he only made it to the beginning of the ice, but it was still pretty far considering how long the hill was.

"Great slide John," Joe said with a smile running up to him.

"Thanks," John said and then turned to see his brother already sliding down, Scott was twelve so he made it all the way to the middle of the lake like Joe had.

"That was great," John and Joe said together as they ran over to Scott as he got up.

"Thanks," Scott said with a smile.

Joe smiled again looked up the hill at his own brothers, "Hey Kevin, are you going to ride down with Nick again?"

"I was going to but Nick wants to try it solo!" Kevin yelled back, "Just be ready to stop him."

"Alright we're ready," Joe yelled up and Scott and John nodded.

"Okay, now flying solo for the first time, it's Nick Jonas!" Kevin's voice sounded out from up on top.

Nick sat down on the sled like Kevin had shown him and took the ropes into his hands that controlled the directions.

"You scared Nicky?" Joe yelled up to him.

"No way, I'm not scared," Nick yelled back and he told Kevin to push him.

"Alright, and there you go," Kevin said as he pushed his little brother down the hill.

"Yeah, you're looking good Nicky," Joe yelled as he watched Nick come zooming towards them fast, too fast.

Nick was small, too small, and without the added weight of Kevin when he reached the edge of the ice he didn't stop, he just kept right on going. He past the edge of the lake, he past the middle of the lake he almost made it to the other side of the lake before it happened. Crack!!

The ice cracked right as Nick went over it and he fell in, "Help, Kevin, Joe, HELP ME!!" Nick pleaded as he tried to stay above water.

"Hold on Nick, we're coming!" Kevin yelled as he came running down the hill, but before he could get close enough Joe dove into the ice cold water.

"Hold on Nicky I got you, John help, grab his arm," Joe sputtered as he too tried to stay afloat the cold water was not helping him.

John pulled Nick all the way out of the water and rapped his coat around Nick to keep him warm and when he turned back to help Joe, Scott and Kevin were already pulling him out.

"Are you two alright?" Kevin asked as he took off his outer coat and put it over Joe's shoulders.

"We're alright Kevin, just wet and cold," Joe said as drips of water fell from his soaked raven black hair.

"Come on I got to get you two home and get you to a doctor," Kevin said as he helped Joe stand up and lifted Nick into his arms.

"Do you guys need any help getting home?" Scott asked as John appeared again beside him with the sleds.

"No, I think we can make it, but thanks guys, we'll talk to you later," Kevin said as he watched Joe pull the coat closer around him.

"Okay, bye guys," the two brothers said as they walked in the other direction then the Jonas house.

As they started to walk home Joe turned to Kevin, "Kevin-home's good enough for me, don't need the doctor part," though he said this through chattering teeth.

"We'll see what mom and dad have to say about that," Kevin said with a small laugh as he adjusted Nick in his arms just as Joe sneezed, "Bless you."

Joe looked up at Kevin sheepishly, "Thank you."

Kevin smiled as they continued towards their house.

Joe saved his brother's life that day according to the doctor, but a few weeks later he found out what he had sacrificed to do it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Sick as a dog

Two days went by, Joe and Nick both caught colds landing them in bed. Kevin made sure his brothers were entertained, he brought them books and music and spend as much time them as possible.

"Hey guys, how are you?" Kevin said with a smile as he entered his brothers room.

"I'm feeling better Kevin," Nick said smiling, revealing his two missing front teeth.

Kevin laughed, "That's good Nicky," then he turned to Joe, "How about you Joe?"

Joe rolled over and looked at Kevin, his eyes gave away just how bad he felt, "Kev-I feel worse."

Kevin sighed, "I wish I could help you Joey."

Joe moaned, "I wish you could too."

Kevin gave his brothers a half smile, "How about I read you guys some more of the book?"

"Yeah," Nick said clapping is hands, yes he was feeling better.

Joe closed his eyes and nodded.

So Kevin picked up the book they had been reading, The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, sat down in the chair in between his brothers beds and began to read once again.

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Within a week, Nick was back to his normal self, but Joe was a different story. His fever wouldn't go down if fact he was getting worse, every time he coughed, he sounded like he was coughing up a lung. Kevin walked into Joe's room to check on him to see him covered in sweat and rolling around on the bed.

Kevin sucked in his breath and ran for the bed, "Joe-Joe are you alright?"

Joe forced open his eyes, eyes that were full of pain, "Kev-I can't-I can't breath."

Kevin put his hand on his brother's forehead, "Joe-you're burning up!" Kevin raced for the door and yelled as loud as his lungs would let him, "MOM!"

Denise Jonas ran to the room as fast as she could hear the fear in her eleven year olds voice, "Kevin, what's wrong?"

"Mom, Joe can't breath-he's gasping for air," Kevin said as he was starting to breath hard himself.

Denise ran into the room and placed her hand on Joe's forehead and then turned back to Kevin, "Kevin, run to the bathroom and get me the thermometer."

Kevin nodded and took off out the room.

"Joe, sweetie you have to try to relax, just breath sweetie," Denise said pulling Joe's wet hair off his forehead.

Joe sounded horrible, he couldn't get a whole breath, "Mom-I can't-it hurts mommy."

Denise pulled Joe up and sat down under him so he could sit up without holding his weight, "Is that a little better?" She asked as she continued to stroke Joe's wet hair.

Joe nodded, "A little."

Kevin ran back into the room, "Here mom," he said handing Denise the thermometer.

"Thank you Kevin," Denise said as she put the probe in Joe's ear and pushed the button, it took only two seconds before it beeped, when she pulled it out her mouth dropped at the reading, 103.7. "Kevin-go get as many of Nick's toys and books you can find then take Nick out to the car and wait there."

"The car?" Kevin asked looking confused.

"Yes, we are taking your brother to the hospital," Denise said looking up at her oldest son.

Kevin was still confused but didn't ask, he just ran out the door grabbing Nick's toy bag and book as he went. Denise turned back to Joe and rapped a blanket around him.

"Mommy-what are we doing?" Joe asked swallowing hard and added, "Mommy-my ears and my throat hurt."

Denise lifted Joe and said, "Don't worry baby, we're going to take you to the hospital."

Denise carried Joe down the stairs and to the car where Kevin and Nick were waiting.

"Mom, I called dad, he said he would meet us there and asked me to ask you to call him as soon as possible," Kevin said holding Nick with one hand and opening the door for his mom.

"Alright, I'll call him once we are on road," Denise said as she laid the nine year old down as gently as possible.

Kevin strapped Nick into his seat and then crawled over to Joe and put his brother's head into his lap. As they backed out of the driveway Kevin began rubbing Joe's back and whispering into his right ear, "Don't worry, little brother-it's all going to be alright."

Kevin continued the circles on Joe's back while he listened to their mom talk to their father on the cell, his eyes not leaving Joe. Joe sounded so bad, Kevin kept repeating himself that everything was going to be alright, though deep down he wondered if he was telling the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Never the Same

Kevin was sitting in the waiting room with Nick on his lap doing his best to keep the six year old busy. He had tried reading to him but after the he stumbled over the same word for the sixth time he gave up and started playing the travel version of connect four with Nick.

"Connect four!" Nick said happily as he connected four for the fourth time in a row.

"Great Nicky," Kevin said with a forced smile as his eyes moved to the clock on the wall, four hours, how much longer were they going to have to wait.

Kevin sighed as he watched Nick yawn, move the game and lay down in his lap, he wasn't old enough to really understand what was going on. Kevin looked over at his parents with worry in is eyes, his parents managed smiles but Kevin saw right through it, they were just as scared as he was maybe more.

Noise down the hallway made Kevin's head shoot in the opposite direction. The doctor was walking towards them rubbing the back of his neck. Luckily the doctor was their family doctor so they didn't have to go through the formalities of meeting.

"Paul," the doctor said as he walked up the family.

Paul stood up followed by Denise, "Jim-how's Joe?"

Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I'm afraid he has pneumonia Paul, that's why he was having trouble breathing."

"He's going to be okay isn't he?" Kevin asked his voice sounding small.

The doctor turned to Kevin and managed a small smile at the sight of Nick sleeping in Kevin's lap, he reached out of put his hands on Kevin's shoulder, "Kevin, right now Joe is very sick, but after a few days with the medicine we're giving him through his IV, he should be fine."

Kevin bit his lip and nodded as the doctor stood up and turned back to Paul and Denise, "Joe also has an infection in his left ear."

"But that's not a big problem, is it?" Paul asked not knowing why it would be, Joe had had ear infections before.

Jim sighed, "It's a really bad infection Paul, one of the worse I've ever seen."

"Meaning what?" Denise asked gripping Paul's arm.

The doctor sighed, "I'm not going to know anything for sure for a few days, we'll have to see what happens, but there's chance that he may loose his hearing in his left ear."

"Can-can we see him?" Kevin asked quietly running his fingers through Nick's curly hair.

"Sure, though do you really want to wake up Nick?" Jim asked looking down at the sleeping six year old.

"We don't have to," Paul said as he reached down and gently picked Nick up out of Kevin's lap, he just sighed and rolled into his father's arms.

"Wow, I wish my kids could be moved like that when they are sleeping," Jim said with a smile.

Paul smiled and moved Nick so that his head was on his shoulder.

"Joe's room is right down this way," the doctor said as he led the family done the hall.

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Four days went by and little by little Joe improved, he was finally off oxygen and was coughing less. Though one thing that Kevin noticed was that when ever someone talked to him that he would turn to his right ear more as if his left wasn't working the way it should.

Nick was showing Joe how good he had gotten at connect four when the doctor walked into the room.

"Well, it's good to see you awake Joe how are you feeling?" the doctor asked looking at Joe with a small smile.

Joe looked up at him, "What?"

"How are you feeling?" the doctor said again a little louder.

"Oh, I'm okay, my head hurts a little, and my throat hurts when I cough, but I feel a lot better," Joe said with a smile.

The doctor frowned, "Joe, are you having trouble hearing out of your left ear?"

Joe nodded, "Yeah, I can't seem to hear anything out of it."

Denise gasped and Paul looked over at Kevin and Nick, Kevin looked scared and Nick looked confused.

The doctor sighed and took out what looked like a small probe, "Joe, I'm going to put this in your ear, its going to set off some small sounds, if you hear anything, I want you to raise your hand okay?"

Joe nodded that he understood, and the doctor placed the probe into Joe's left ear, it only took a few moments and the doctor had clicked the sounds over ten times-Joe never raised his hand once.

When the doctor took the probe out of Joe's ear, Kevin's heart sank, he had heard the doctor ask Joe to raise his hand when he heard something, he hadn't, Kevin knew that it only meant one thing, Joe was part deaf and would never be the same again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Three years Later

Twelve year old Joe was working at their Grandparents restaurant with Kevin, they served and cleaned up after closing.

"Hey, Joe?" fourteen year old Kevin said as he turned to look at his brother from the table he was cleaning.

Joe didn't even look up, Kevin sighed when he saw that Joe's left side was towards him. Kevin walked around to the other side of the room and tried again.

"Joe?" Kevin said this time facing Joe's right ear.

"Hu?" Joe said turned to face his brother.

"Have you stocked the new seasoning yet?" Kevin asked him putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Oh no, I forgot," Joe said shaking his head.

"Well you might want to get it done, Grandpa will be in here any minute to take us home," Kevin said with a smile patting Joe on the back.

Joe nodded and walked towards the kitchen. It was always Joe's job to restock the seasoning when it got low, and half the time he forgot, if it weren't for Kevin reminding him every week the kitchen would be without seasoning the next day.

Joe grabbed the first bottle he saw, cinnamon, it was almost empty like most of the bottles were at this time of the week. He filled that bottle and then moved on to the next one. After about fifteen minutes Joe had all the bottles refilled except for one, it looked like it didn't need filling but he took it done anyway, he had never heard of it before it had an odd name, and it had an odd color.

"I wonder what this is?" Joe asked himself as he took off the lid and looked at it better, his eyes widened, it wasn't just any powder, it was pills smashed down to a thick powder, the only way he could tell was that there was one still slightly intact, "I have to show this to Kevin."

Joe walked back out to the main area but his Grandfather was already out there with Kevin so Joe decided to just come right out and ask him about it.

"Grandpa, what is this?" Joe asked holding up the bottle.

"That's some of our new spices Joe," their Grandpa said with a smile.

"Grandpa its not spices," Joe said still holding up the bottle.

"What are you talking about Joe?" Kevin asked, though Joe didn't hear him, Kevin was standing at his left side.

"Joseph-what is it then?" their Grandfather asked looking a bit upset about what his grandson was saying.

"Its crushed up pills Grandpa, I don't know what kind and I don't know how they got there, but its pills Grandpa, you have to believe me," Joe yelled he knew what his Grandpa did when got mad, and he didn't want to make him mad but he couldn't let him use this bottle.

"JOESPH JONAS! You know that's not true," his Grandpa said suddenly slapping Joe across the left side of his face, "I never want to hear you lying again!"

The slap had caused Joe's left ear to start bleeding and the boy's hand shot to his ear as the pain became known. The moment Kevin saw the blood he was by Joe's side in a matter of seconds, "Grandpa, don't hit him!"

Joe leaned into Kevin thankful that he was there, he held out the bottle again with shaky hands, "Grandpa, I know you didn't know about it, and I know you wouldn't mean to hurt anyone, but you have to believe me, it pills Grandpa, its pills!"

Their Grandfather grabbed the bottle from Joe's hand just as Joe collapsed into Kevin's arms he was shaking to much to hold his weight. Their Grandfather opened the bottle and poured some of the powder into his hand, he smelled it, and then tasted it. His eyes widened, Joe was right, it was crushed up pills, if they had used that on a dish of food who ever had eaten it could have died.

He looked back at the brothers, Kevin was cradling Joe in his arms who was crying because of the pain in his ear. Their Grandpa walked towards them, Kevin's grip on Joe's shoulder tightened and he said, "Please Grandpa-don't hit Joe's bad ear again!"

Their Grandfather looked at Kevin and shook his head and then he reached out and gently pulled Joe into a hug, "I'm so sorry Joe, I'm so sorry."

Joe sniffed still holding his ear with one hand and hugging back with the other, "I know you didn't mean it Grandpa, I know."

Joe pulled his left hand away from his ear and reached it out towards Kevin, Kevin gave into a small smile and joined the hug.

"Only you could do something like this Joe," Kevin said, though he knew Joe wouldn't hear him, he was on his left side.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Time for me to Fly

Another two years later…

Eleven year old Nick come running through the door to Joe and Kevin's bedroom running straight into Kevin as he did, he lost his footing and fell backwards.

"Whoa Nick J, where are you going in such a hurry?" Kevin asked with a laugh as he pulled his brother back up to his feet.

"To find you guys, I'm going down to the music studio to see if they'll sign me, I was wondering if you guys wanted to come too?" Nick asked he was so excited he had said all of that in one breath.

Kevin looked over at Joe, who was smiling with amusement about what had just happened. Kevin laughed and turned back to Nick, "Sure we'll come Nick J."

"Yay!" Nick said as he ran across the hall into his and their three year old brother Frankie's room and grabbed his hat, then he returned to Kevin and Joe, "Well come on guys, we have to go."

"Okay Nick J, okay we're coming," Kevin said with a laugh as he and Joe got up and followed him out the door.

Joe smiled, he was glad he had been sitting on his bed when Nick had come in that way his right side had been towards his brothers so he heard every single word they said. As they reached the car Joe sighed, he knew how much Nick wanted this record deal, but from what their dad had told him and Kevin, they hadn't liked the songs he had all that much. Today Nick was going to sing Dear God for them live and then the final decision would be made the following day.

"Joe?" the sound of Kevin's voice brought Joe out of his thoughts, he turned to his right to see both of his brothers staring at him, "Joe are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Joe said with a small smile at his brothers as he silently crossed his fingers behind his back.

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As the brothers followed their parents and little brother into the building Nick suddenly gripped Kevin's arm.

"What's the matter Nick J?" Kevin asked as they stopped just outside the door.

"I don't know if I can do this Kevin," Nick said biting his lower lip like he always did when he got nervous.

"You're going to do fine Nick, don't worry," Kevin said patting his brother on the back.

"Kevin, would you-would you play the guitar for me? I would feel better knowing it was you who was playing," Nick said looking up at his oldest brother.

Kevin shrugged, "Sure Nick, if they have a guitar for me to use you bet I will," Kevin said with a smile.

Joe looked over at them just as Kevin finished what he was saying, he had no idea what they were talking about.

Once they were inside they found out that they did have a guitar for Kevin to use so he took it and tuned it and waited for everyone to arrive.

Finally someone looked at Nick, "When ever you're ready Nick."

Nick swallowed and looked over at Kevin and slowly nodded, Kevin smiled and nodded back and slowly began to play the chords he knew so well. Once he started Nick's high voice sounded throughout the room.

Dear God, I hate to be a bother but I gotta say  
This world is getting crazier with everyday  
I hope you'll hear me out now as I stop and pray

Dear God, people take you words and try to twist them round  
I know you can't be happy with what's going down  
I'm searchin' for some answers but the can't be found  
Can you help me out, Dear God

Dear God, just the other night I heard somebody say  
What's the use believin' in you anyway?  
I guess it was just heartache talking through the pain  
Its a cryin' shame

Dear God, I know your disappointed in the things we've done  
But can't they see the truth that their all running from  
Tryin' to preach your message with a loaded gun  
What they thinking of, Dear God... ohhh

Everybodies searchin' for an easy solution, yeah  
They can't see beyond the selfish world their livin' in  
Words of love get lost in all the confusion, yes they do  
But I still believe, someday your gonna speak to me..

Dear God, I know you've got a million other calls to take  
Your dealin' with a lot of things that just won't wait  
But their is one request that I just gotta make ohhh

Dear God, won't you send a sign down just to ease my doubt  
Im tryin' to hear you but the silence is so loud  
I think I see a rainbow from behind the clouds ...  
...and I hear you now

...Dear God...

Nick ended the song perfectly as Kevin finished the last chord, Joe wanted to clap but thought better of it and just smiled. Though Frankie had other ideas, and the three year old started clapping and saying, "Again Nicky, again." Everyone laughed.

One of the men stood up, "That was very good Nick, you have a wonderful voice," then he turned to Kevin, "Kevin, how long have you been playing the guitar?"

Kevin was a little surprised but answered, "Since I was twelve."

"And how old are you now?" the man asked.

"I'm sixteen," Kevin said still wondering where this was going.

"Can you sing?" the man asked, he was really going at it.

"Yeah," Kevin said nodding his head.

The man nodded and turned to Joe, "What about you Joe-can you sing?"

Luckily, the man was on Joe's right side so he heard the question, "Um-yeah kind of."

"Do you guys have any songs that you can sing together right now?" the man asked, he knew he was putting them on the spot but he wanted to know what he was working with here.

"Well, yeah we have one that we just wrote together actually," Kevin said as he watched Joe get a worried look in his eyes.

"Can we hear it?" the record producer asked then turned to the boys parents, "If we like what we hear, there might be a contract in store for all of them as a group."

Paul and Denise looked at each other in surprise and the looked at the boys, "Its all up to you boys."

Joe stood up and quickly walked over to Kevin and whispered into his brother's ear, "Kev, we can do this, just make sure I can hear the guitar, that way I can stay on pitch."

Kevin looked at Joe and nodded, "Alright, Nick do you what to do Time for me to Fly?"

Nick shrugged, "Sure, let's do it."

Joe walked up beside Kevin, making sure that the Kevin was on his right side, both younger boys nodded and Kevin and he began to play.

I've been wasting my time,

I've been losing my mind,

I've been running races,

Still don't know what I've been chasing ,

But my eyes still can see,

Bluer skies that wait for me,

And I'm on my way,

Joe took a deep breath as he and Kevin joined Nick on the chorus.

Time for me to fly,

Time for me to soar,

Time for me to open up my heart and knock on heavens door,

Time for me to live,

It's time for me to sing,

Time for me to lay down all my worries and I'll spread my wings,

Time for me to fly,

Joe sighed, so far so good.

The earth can be a heavy ride,

When the clouds are in your eyes,

But I feel a calling,

I will rise, I won't be falling,

And I'll escape the gravity,

And I'll reach my destiny,

And I'll fly away,

Time for me to fly,

Time for me to soar,

Time for me to open up my heart and knock on heavens door,

Time for me to live,

It's time for me to sing,

Time for me to lay down all my worries and I'll spread my wings,

Time for me to fly,

The last part just Joe and Nick, Joe swallowed but looked and Kevin who quickly nodded letting Joe know it was going to be alright.

The gates of heaven will open wide,

I will be,

I will rise,

There won't be compromise,

As I take to the open skies,

I will fly away,

I will fly away,

I will fly away,

They finished together and Joe sighed, he did it, he could do it, he could sing in front of people with just one ear and stay on key. All three boys looked at the people sitting in front of them, they all smiled and turned towards the boys parents, "I hope you don't mind us stealing them once in a while, because they just got a contract as a group."

Kevin and Joe looked at each other, what had just happened? They had become a part of something that was only supposed to be for Nick. They both winced and looked at their little brother, but he was smiling, "Did you hear that guys? That's even better, I get to sing with my two best friends."

Kevin and Joe smiled and pulled Nick into a hug, though they had no idea how long their new life was going to last or what was going to happen in the future.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

A granted wish

Sixteen year old Joe sighed as the record director yelled out again, "No, no, no, Joe what is wrong with you today, you are totally off key!"

"I'm sorry," Joe said rubbing the back of his neck looking over at eighteen year old Kevin who gave him a sad look.

"Maybe if I could play the guitar while we record-," Kevin said, he knew that's what Joe needed but didn't want t say it.

"I already told you Kevin, we don't need you to play at the same time you record you're vocals," the director yelled causing Kevin to jump back a little.

"You don't have to yell," Thirteen year old Nick said as he took off his earphones, "I need a break, I'll be right back." Then he walked out of the room.

Kevin and Joe looked at each other, the only ones knowing that the only reason Nick was leaving was to check his blood sugar, since he was diagnosed with diabetes, he had been having trouble keeping his blood sugar under control.

As soon as Nick left the room the director turned back to Kevin and Joe, he was not happy, "Okay-while Nick takes his "Break" Joe do I need to give you some voice lessons or something, what is going on with you?"

"He's just having an off day," Kevin said quickly trying to help his brother.

"I asked Joe," the director said looking at the younger teenager once again.

Joe sighed and looked at Kevin who shrugged, Joe took a deep breath and began to tell the director the truth, "Well, you see I need Kevin to play the guitar for me to stay on key."

"Why would that be?" the director asked crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I-I'm deaf in my left ear, the guitar helps keep me on key," Joe said softly.

"I see, why didn't you tell us about this when you were signed?" the director asked looking more and more annoyed by the minute.

"Well, we thought you didn't need to know, if Kevin can play the guitar by my right ear I'm fine," Joe said as Kevin put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

The director sighed and looked back to the two older brothers, "I'm sorry boys, but this isn't going to work out."

Both Kevin and Joe's mouths dropped in disbelief, "You can't just break our contract just because Joe is deaf in one ear."

"No but I can because you didn't tell us about it, I'm sorry boys but we can't have a contract with someone who might be able to sing one day and then not sing the next," the director said as he opened the door.

"We've been here for almost two years, we've recorded a full album here," Kevin said as the director turned to them again.

"I'm sorry Kevin, that's my finally word," the director said as he walked out just as Nick was walking in.

"What's going on?" Nick asked looking at his brothers.

"We just lost our record deal and it's all my fault," Joe said as he left the room before anyone could say anything.

Nick was so confused, as Joe walked passed him and out the door, Nick looked at Kevin, "What just happened?"

"Joe had to tell him about his hearing loss, and the director basically just fired us on the spot," Kevin said as he picked up his guitar case and slung it over his shoulder.

"Oh man, and it's my fault Joe can't hear in the first place," Nick said with guilt in his eyes.

"Don't blame yourself Nick J, come on lets go find Joe," Kevin said as the boys left the Columbia records studio for the last time.

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Joe started running once he was out of the building, the cold December wind brushed his face, but he didn't stop, he just wanted to run. He ran for a good two miles until it began to snow and he reached the small bridge that ran over the river in the town. He just stood there for about ten minutes, looking out over the water and let the tears flow down his cheeks.

"Me and my stupid ear," Joe said to himself as he rubbed at his left ear at the same time he tried to wipe away some of the tears, "Sometimes I don't think I'm even worth the name Jonas, in fact it would probably be better if I hadn't been born at all."

"What was that?" a voice asked behind him.

Joe turned around to see a short middle aged man looking at him, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Only for a few minutes, what did you say before?" the man asked looking at Joe with dark green eyes.

"Oh, I just lost my brothers a record deal of life time just because I'm deaf in one ear, sometimes I think they're better off without me and they would probably be better off without me, sometimes I wish I had never been born in the first place," Joe repeated himself though he didn't know why he was talking to this man and telling him his feelings.

The man nodded and started off into space for a moment and then looked back at Joe, "Alright, you have your wish-you've never been born."

"What?" Joe asked confused just as the snow stopped suddenly where just a moment ago it looked like there was going to be a blizzard.

"You've never been born, you don't exist," the man said putting his hands in his pockets.

"No-what the-," Joe started as he hand shot towards his right ear and he pointed at his left, "Say something else in that ear."

"Sure, you can hear out of it," the man said talking into Joe's bad ear.

"That's weird I haven't been able to hear out of that ear since I was nine," Joe said rubbing his ear, then he pulled out his wallet.

"You won't find it," the man said as Joe began to open his wallet.

"I won't find what?" Joe asked looking at the man.

"Your ID card, like I said you don't exist, you have no ID cards, no keys, you were never born," the man said his hands remaining in his pockets.

Joe bit his lip and put his wallet back in his back pocket and then reached for his jacket pocket.

"Its not there either," the man said like he knew Joe's every move.

"What?" Joe asked looking at the man as he started to believe him.

"Nick's emergency insulin," the man said calmly.

"Look man, who are you?" Joe asked checking his pockets anyway, he was right, Nick's insulin was not there.

"My name is Clarence, I'm your guardian angel, and you've been given a gift Joe Jonas," Clarence said looking and the teenager with kind eyes, "A chance to see what the world would be like without you."

Joe gulped and looked over the water again, what had he done.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Two

Chapter Seven

I'm Joe Jonas

Joe looked out at the water, not really believing what he had just heard, he turned back to Clarence, "Do you want to run that by me again?"

"You've never been born, you don't exist, there never was a Joe Jonas," Clarence said calmly.

Joe was still getting use to being able to hear out of his left ear, Clarence was standing on his left side and he could hear every word he was saying, "I must have hit my head or something."

"No, you have received a wish Joe, this is happening," Clarence said as he slipped clumsily on the slippery bridge.

"You know what, I'm going to go to my Grandparents restaurant, and show you that you are crazy," Joe said as he walked over the bridge and back into town, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his grandparents' restaurant, or what he thought was his grandparents' restaurant.

"Monty's Bar and Grill?" Clarence asked looking at the sign.

"No, this is Nicholas's Restaurant," Joe said rubbing his head as he pushed the door opened and walked in, "Grandpa?"

A middle aged man came out of the back room, he glared at Joe, "What did you call me?"

"Who are you?" Joe asked looking at the stranger standing in front of him.

"I'm Monty, I own this place," Monty said pointing around.

"No you don't, my Grandfather does," Joe said loudly.

"What, you mean old man Nicholas over there? He lost this place when he poisoned a kid with his food," Monty said pointing at the man in the corner, Joe looked, it was his grandfather.

Joe walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder, "Grandpa?"

The older man looked up from the cup in his hand, "Who are you?"

Joe's eyes went wide, "Grandpa-Grandpa its me Joe Jonas, I'm your grandson don't you know me?"

"No, no I don't know you, I only have three Jonas grandsons Kevin, Nick and Frankie, I don't know who you are, leave me alone," the old man said and then turned back to his drink.

"But you have to know me, Kevin and I used to help you all the time here at the restaurant, you don't remember that?" Joe asked bagging for some sign that he knew him at all.

"No, I don't know you, like I said leave me alone," the old man said again this time getting up and moving to another corner.

"Okay buddy are you going to buy anything or what?" Monty asked coming over to Joe standing a good two inches taller them him.

"No I don't want anything from you," Joe said looking at his grandpa again, "Please Grandpa you have to know me."

"He already told you he don't know you, and since you don't want anything let me show you something, the door," Monty said grabbing Joe by his collar, opening the door and shoving him out the door.

Joe flew a good foot off the ground before he landed face first into the snow, He pushed himself up and saw Clarence sitting on the sidewalk beside him.

"I told you, you've never been born, your Grandfather wouldn't know you," Clarence said calmly.

"Why is this not my Grandpa's place anymore, how did he poison a kid?" Joe asked as he sat up the rest of the way.

"The pills in the seasoning Joe, you weren't there to stop him from using it," Clarence said with a knowing shrug.

Joe's eyes widened, he had forgotten about that but he still didn't believe that he didn't exist.

"You know what, Scott and John, Scott and John Miller I've known them since was little they'll know who I am," Joe said standing up and brushing himself off as he started to walk.

"Do you know where they live?" Clarence asked as he began to follow him.

"Of course I do they live in Barber Park," Joe said as he turned left out of town heading for the subdivision.

If only he knew what he would see when he got there.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

You weren't There

Joe ran towards the edge of town, Barber Park was one of the last subdivisions in the town and Joe didn't care how much his lungs burnt, he wanted to get there and he wanted to get there now. Joe ran a good three miles to where Barber Park used to be, but when he reached he stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw. It wasn't a subdivision, it was a snow covered cemetery, small groups of headstones were the only things that were in sight, no houses, no people, just headstones.

Clarence walked up beside Joe, rubbing the back of his head then looked at Joe, "Are you sure this is Barber Park?"

"I'm not sure of anything anymore," Joe said throwing his hands in the air, "All I know is this should be Barber Park."

Joe slowly walked into the cemetery, the snow crunching softly under his shoes, he looked around at the headstones for about ten minutes until he stopped at one and he blinked several times, he couldn't be seeing what he was seeing.

Clarence walked up behind him as Joe stepped over the small fence that was strung across the ground and began wiping at the snow on the stone trying to wipe away the name on it. Though no matter what he did, the name remained.

"Your brother, Nicholas Jonas, broke through the ice, fell into the creek and drowned at the age of six." Clarence said softly reading the small head stone.

Joe stood up like a spring, "That's not true, Nick starred on Broadway, the three of us became the Jonas brothers, sure he was diagnosed with diabetes but he made the best of it, he helped save dozens of people who had lost hope."

"All those people lost hope Joe, Nick wasn't there to save them because you weren't there to save Nick," Clarence said with pointing at Joe and then at the headstone.

Joe fell onto his knees again and dug at the snow that surrounded Nick's headstone until he could read the years of his brother's life, his whole stone read:

In Loving Memory

of our son

Nicholas Jerry Jonas

A beloved son and brother

September 16th 1992—December 19th 1998

"Everything is easily explained Joe," Clarence said softly.

"No, no," Joe whispered to himself putting hand on the stone and slowly tracing his brother's name with his finger, "I'm sorry Nick, I'm so sorry."

"You see Joe, you really had a wonderful life, do you really just want to throw it away?" Clarence asked a little concerned as some tears fell down Joe's cheeks.

Joe ran his hand over the stone one more time before turning back to Clarence with the one hope that he had left, "Clarence, where's Kevin?"

"You're not going to like it Joe," Clarence said calmly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked finally standing up and looking ready to punch Clarence in the face but he held back.

"Well, after Nick died Kevin shut himself out of the family, he never started to play the guitar and he never sang after Nick died, he's a longer Joe," Clarence said sadly.

"That doesn't answer my question Clarence," Joe said pulling Clarence by the collar of his shirt to his face, "Where is Kevin, where is he?"

"He's just about to close up the music store on First Street," Clarence said as his feet began to dangle off the ground.

Joe dropped him and ran off again back towards town. Clarence slowly sat up rubbing his neck, "Really, there must be an easier way to get my wings." With that said he got and slowly began to follow Joe once again.


End file.
